Relapsed. Back to 0 again.
My emotions are all over the place tonight :( Hoping this storm stops so I can go for a run soon. I don’t think I’m going to make the next 48 hours without relapsing either at this point.
Intake and WOD: 5/27/12
Intake
Breakfast/Pre-run #1: 1/2 bagel with cream cheese
Post-run #1: 4 oz. applesauce, a handful of crackers
Lunch: TBD
Snack: orange
Dinner:Turkey burger?
Weighed myself after my run again..138. Still low. My hydration is improving and I’m no longer struggling on my runs. I’m feeling more muscle in my upper body and abs again.
WOD
Stretching
8 mile BRR run - 1:22:26/10:18 pace
Ab workout
8+ mile evening solo run. Possibly toftrees trail.
Fisherman’s Paradise 8 mile run
Out and back from Fisherman’s Paradise into town at Tallyrand Park. Bellefonte, PA.
Time: 1:22:26/10:18 pace
I didn’t sleep well last night due to flash backs. Every year my PTSD gets worse from late May to early August. I’ve been raging all morning - even after my first run for the day. I wish the gym wasn’t closed. I’m trying to stay clean a couple more days until I have my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday.
Threw on some running clothes and Kelly, her friend and I drove out to Bellefonte. Met up with Nicole there. Thankfully no one asked about my scarring. I am in no fucking mood to deal with that right now. I’m feeling more introverted than usual so I just brought my shuffle with me. I talked with the others during the first mile. This was Nicole’s longest run to date.
We took off from Fisherman’s Paradise and crossed a few bridges, following the stream. Saw a few men fishing for trout along the way and a couple of cyclists called out to us.
I hit a strong stride quickly and focused on the water flowing towards me in the stream. I didn’t see any trout or frogs, even when the fog lifted. I didn’t speak much on the run. I really needed to run somewhere quiet this morning and this route was perfect.
I was really pushing the other girls this morning. I focused on my running form a lot and tried to improve it by leaning forward more. I ran very relaxed and strong until my legs started to give out a quarter of a mile from the finish. I led the group the entire route up until that point. I tend to run and box best when I’m angry it seems. I hung back for about 30 seconds before pushing through the pain and getting back up to the front.
I’m hoping to run this course again. Planning a slightly longer solo run tonight and might race tomorrow morning down in Boalsburg - or just check out the carnival there.
Intake & WOD
Intake
Breakfast: 1.5 cups cereal with milk
Lunch: none
Dinner: personal pan pizza w. sausage at Pizza Hut
I weighed myself this morning and I still haven’t gained the weight I lost back. Chugged a bunch of water today and tried to eat a little. Struggled to keep my dinner down during my run.
WOD:
Stretching
Ab workout
8.18 mile run - 1:14:52/9:09 min. pace
Overall strong run tonight. I was feeling brave again and wore shorts in broad daylight during my run. I was talking to a good friend of mine before I went on my run. I couldn’t tell if his new co-worker was staring at my scarring or just checking me out. Aside from that, I didn’t get any dirty looks today either! I know my coach and Kelly wont comment on my scarring if I wore shorts tomorrow for our run but I am afraid of what the rest of my team will say if I show up in shorts. Sometimes I wish only I could see my scarring.
Anyways.
I was having trouble motivating myself to run tonight so I decided to run to the other end of town to get Pizza Hut and then run back home. It was 78 and humid on my run. I was drenched in sweat a mile into my run. Since I was getting water at dinner, I didn’t carry any water or gels. I hit a strong stride at mile 2. Moderate effort on moderate hills. My hydration is improving finally.
Running in fisherman’s paradise tomorrow morning with friends followed by a hilly solo long run in the evening.
I don’t want to say this is me, because I don’t think my problems were ever that serious.
But I also know I have a problem with understanding the severity of my problems.
Whether or not this is you I can’t say; however, from my experience Natasha, you and I are way to brainy and neurotic for the classic college experience.
